I just wanna make you cum, make you breakfast, and make you happy.
I want the whole world to stop pretending that it likes beer
happy womens day
best moment in all three movies
best. post. ever.
i want to write the kind of short stories you read in english class that are on this weird level of surrealism that they still haunt you years down the road
omfg my aunts cat tried eating a wasp and got stungits so sad but im laughing so hard
Me telling you to fuck off is not me playing hard to get. It’s me blatantly displaying my disinterest in you. Fuck off, you pig.
Snails Kiss On Cherries [photo by Vyacheslav Mishchenk]
THIS IS EVERYTHING I WANT MY LIFE TO BE
what if childbirth is just the pain of the 9 periods you missed
and all this time i thought it was the baby ripping through your vagina
a girl told me that i dont have a boyfriend because im “a slut” and “guys dont like sluts” which is funny because i thought i didnt have one because im gay